Bad Timing
by clusterduck
Summary: Robin Hood is caught by the Evil Queen's knights at an unfavorable time.


_Robin is young and doesn't have a kid. Regina's just starting to go after Snow, but she's still pretty young. Basically, Robin is captured by the early Black Knights (who kind of just had him walk into them while he was trying to pick their pockets and they were just resting). Hilarity ensues. I'm not much of a reader, so I can't say at all that I'm much of a writer. Not very good at that stuff. _

"Did you think you could hide forever, thief? I assure you, these forests are not as vast as they seem."

"Oh, then I should have been caught sooner, yeah?"

Hands tied in front of him, the man felt no need to struggle. By the looks of it, not all his men had been captured, and he could expect to be released in a week, at the most.

"You won't be so merry once you're brought before the Queen. Now, walk." The Evil Queen, they called her and she was a lovely woman by the talks of her. What had been dangerous and busy work for he and his men had been made impossibly more difficult at the fault of the Queen and her powerful magic. The three villages in need suddenly had become twenty, and the few orphans walking about had all but quadrupled in number. He recalled the last full meal he had had with a sound in his stomach, but could not regret his choice. For every year of his life he'd had a good meal, all the people of the land deserved one, and then some.

"Tell me, what's this queen like? Is she as evil as she's said to be? I've heard of many evil rulers, and I can't help but feel a bit disappointed that not a single one lives up to their name." The guard riding a few steps ahead of him threw him a look, unsure if the outlaw was serious or simply deranged. Robin Hood waited for the guard's response, hoping to pass the time with conversation.

"You'll wish you hadn't been caught. If she has time for you, that is." Robin nodded and then grew curious.

"She's a busy woman? Can't say I'm used to being ignored," he said, looking at the guard who had lost interest. "But then, I never really stick around long enough to actually meet any of these people. I suppose that may be why I'm always a bit let down, you know."

"Be quiet, Hood. She means you no disrespect, but at the rate she's going, she'll hardly even notice you before you're dead."

"That's Queen Regina for you. Not the friendly type. Now, walk."

The man pulled Robin forward. The rest of the journey was silent.

A sack was put over his head once it had occurred to the guards to do so, and the silence was accompanied by the dark. His legs were tired, not used to walking at such a fast pace if not running and, of course, not used to guessing the positions of his feet and constantly tripping over his own attachments. Without warning the knights stopped, letting Robin walk a few extra paces before his rope pulled him in the direction he came.

"Your Majesty. We've caught him."

Regina turned her head to the side, eyebrow cocked up. "Caught whom?"

Robin thought of introducing himself and would have done so if not for the gag that…wasn't in his mouth.

"Me, Your Majesty. Robin Hood. I can't say I'm glad to meet you right now, but perhaps under other circumstances?" The woman's lip lifted to the right as she grimaced, screaming her annoyance, a groan, followed by a quick glance at the two useless guards and messenger letting the thief talk.

An elbow to the stomach took care of him.

"Never heard of you. But, since you're so willing to talk, why don't you give me a reason not to have you killed with the rest of these peasants?" The peasants looked up, some insulted, some indifferent, and some surprised, at the queen. Hearing several loud gasps, Robin gathered this was news to them as it was to him. He thought again of the Merry Men, of their mostly successful escapes, and then of the peasants. He had experience dealing with power-crazed people, and not enough experience with women (as someone like him should have had by his age), but he was willing to give his plan a shot. Simply: stay with the queen; convince her against committing mass murder.

"Well, if it's guards you need, which you clearly do, new ones, at least, I could be of use. I'm rather skilled with a sword. Archery's my strong suit, but it looks a bit hard to move in those suits," he answered, trying to make up the plan as he went. Something had worked, obviously, because the queen's guards released him.

Or, maybe not. The sound of a sword cutting through the air reached his ears before he could move. It was too late, he thought, but the blow never came. Then, a thump from the rope hitting the ground. His hands were free, but his vision remained missing, until a harsh tug threw it beside the rope, and left his neck somewhat bent. He blinked, adjusting to the light, looked down at the ropes, left at the guards, and forward at the Queen, standing with her back slightly arched and her eyes cutting mercilessly at him. She was a sight, for sure, but now wasn't the time or place. Out of thin air, a sword materialized in her hand, and then appeared at his feet through the power of a strong throwing arm.

"You want me to fight? Your men? My lady, I mean you no offense, but your men's skill was proven the moment they caught me." The blank look on her face told him how little she cared for their lives and Robin, being as he was, couldn't stand the thought of killing. "I won't fight."

"I don't want you to. I'm making you." She turned to the guard standing behind her and ordered, "If he survives, bring him to me."

"Your Majesty!"

She walked in the sea of parted knights.

"Queen!"

Her hips moved side to side, but her head stayed in its place. Before she was completely out of sight, he gave it one more try.

"Regina!"

Hours later, almost an entire day, Robin figured, he was bloodied and once again being pulled forward, this time with a rope in his mouth, to the castle, which was closer than it had seemed. That, or, he'd lost consciousness at some point and he'd been dragged for several days. Looking down at his clothes, his theory seemed likely.

The Black Knights were certainly a force to be reckoned, had been his final verdict. And, if he wasn't who he was, he would have been killed. They were a fearsome enemy, but in the end had been no match for him, and all the blood in his clothes belonged to men he'd almost killed. But, their real strength lied in their ability to abandon their humanity in battle. Even after seeing him ask not to fight, they had, all of them, charged at him, until only four remained to give up and tie him up for their queen.

"My Queen."

"He lives. Huh." A millions words went through Robin's head, but the cursed rope was too tight for even a scoff. Her voice was neither impressed nor upset, just words played over the same note. "Well, don't just stand there. Cut the ropes." At least she was a woman of her word.

His mouth was freed first. The queen stepped closer to him, looking him up and down, as if trying to process her own words. Robin's hands were next, and he shook the ropes off. He'd hated to have fought somewhat innocent man, but respected a queen that kept her promises. He put his hand out, waiting to meet hers.

"Thank you."

She drew her eyes down, watching his hand as if it held a weapon. She threw them up again and turned away. Robin's hand hung in the air, but his smile didn't falter, even with the look she'd given him.

"He dies tomorrow."


End file.
